Blackhawks Game 1 at Duffy's

I don't have much time to dive into stories yet because I'm headed to the Hawks game, but I'll quickly throw out a Kuph story related to the Hawks.

So on a typical Friday night in Chicago, some of us including Kuph have decided the best place to be is likely Duffy's. For $20, from 6:30-11 it's a decent buffet (of mainly random fried crap but it also has chicken wings and some solid pasta), well drinks, and any beer on tap. It's pretty solid deal. A small group of us went there last Friday to watch the first game of the playoffs. The game didn't go well, but we all had a pretty solid time, and Kuph got hammered.

At one point Kuph and I had to go to the bathroom, so we're standing in there waiting to wash our hands or something, when some kid starts yelling "Detroit What" which maybe I'm naive but I still don't understand what the hell that really means. Despite the fact that Duffy's is technically a Red Wings affiliated bar, it was obviously packed with Hawks fans and this yelling led to a fight in the bathroom as Tommy Tough Nuts in the Hossa jersey decided he had to defend the bathroom from Detroit kids. The fight went absolutely no where as usual as not a single punch was thrown as they were held back. The Hawks fan was a tall lanky dude who should be glad that was the case too. Well we're trying to walk out of the bathroom when Kuph decides he now needs to walk up to the Detroit kid and shove him against the wall, which I'm pretty sure quite frankly confused the shit out of everyone. As Kuph prides himself on wearing extra small clothing (true story) I quickly grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and dragged him out while Kuph continued to defend what he did because "Dude, he was a Red Wings fan." Fair enough.

Around 11 when the drink deal ends, Kuph tells me we need to head to State to meet up with people. I asked him many times who, but he just said "don't worry about it" which was comforting. Most of the rest of our group bailed at this point because they wanted an early night, but Kuph, my friend John from UW, and I were going to go to State. While waiting for a cab outside Duffy's, Kuph drew quite the crowd by peeing on Duffy's despite the fact that it's on a pretty busy street (Diversey) and he tried to talk to ever chick that walked by in the process.

Obviously once we got there, we knew nobody, and when I asked Kuph who was supposed to be here, he said, "I dunno." Great. (Full disclosure: Gage and a few others had been there I found out later, but Kuph was too hammered to be of any value at this point.) Kuph then decided we needed to meet some girls, which in Kuph's condition sounded hilarious. He walked up to some tall skinny girl dancing and tried to dance up on her. She wasn't feeling it, so Kuph started slapping her ass while trying to dance with her. Shockingly, she still wasn't into it. What a bitch. So Kuph turned and tried to dance with her friend. I think the first girl was now jealous Kuph had moved on so quickly and grabbed Kuph and told him, "I told you to get out of here asshole." I have no clue what happened next as I went to the bathroom and when I returned Kuph was gone. Whether he left on his own or got kicked out, neither of us will ever know.

Pretty standard night out with Kuph.

Beginnings

(Around noon on the floor of a McDonald's on St. Patrick's Day)

When I moved to Chicago in December I knew the amount of Kuph I'd see would greatly increase from college levels, but I certainly had no idea we'd end up hanging out this much. Like many of you, I can't go much more than an hour without Kuph sending me a text about what he's doing, what he's thinking, or a Ke$ha song lyric. Because I haven't yet gotten into the twitter thing, Kuph sends me texts of most thing he tweets to make sure I'm aware of stuff I don't even want to know. The kid's an idiot. He invites himself over to my apartment at least once a week while giving me text updates almost every 5 minutes about how his bus travel to my apt is going. Despite how often I've told him I don't care, he continues.

As a result of this, after talking with a few friends (Mickey Reed, Rudy, and my roommate Trent who already loves Kuph's stupid antics), I decided I needed to make a blog to document the stupid shit I've seen this kid do. Guest posts will certainly be requested from anyone with a good story, and I know Rudy has already eagerly volunteered.

Some People might think that this is mean to do this to a friend, and that Kuph would get embarrassed about this. No, absolutely not. If you know Kuph, you know he's going to think this is pretty damn funny too. A friend (Dan Walters) suggested that doing this might influence Kuph to act more outrageous for the sake of this blog, but considering how the kid acts already, and the fact that half of these stories occur when he's blacked out already, I'm not worried about it.