Pretty Standard

So there's been a little bit of a gap in posts for which I apologize. I hope that in no way implies to you that Kuph has been normal recently, because the kid is nuts. It apparently turns out that some of his ridiculous crap dates back to a few weeks ago. A video shot by Kyle Somerfield has recently surfaced wherein Kuph takes off his shirt (this is far too common) and is persuaded by the crowd at my apt to also remove his pants. Fortunately there is no full frontal in said video, but kuph does moon the partygoers at my apt. For those of you that are not aware, Kuph freeballs pretty much all the time. Yep, even in jeans. I know, I don't get it either. One of the people at the party (Mickey Reed) can be heard saying "I can see his penis from this angle." I'm pretty sure she is also taking pictures, so those shots are probably out there somewhere. I won't be releasing this video yet as Kuph, through a thick stream of tears, made me promise not to post it yet, but you can be sure it'll make it's way here eventually.

As far as more recent events, last weekend Kuph did too much partying. The kid either doesn't know him limits, or has a complete disregard for them despite how stupid he makes himself look. I wasn't out with him on Friday as I went to the Hawks game, but from what I hear from Rudy, he was pulling his shirt off at McGee's to the complete dismay of all females in attendance. Saturday, more of the same. At a party at Kmac's, Kuph just gets hammered, acts like an idiot, probably kills any shot with any girl in Chicago as he's the opposite of smooth when drunk. The only thing I can give him credit for is the fact that he has an uncanny habit of realizing he's too hammered (way after the rest of us, but still) and simply vanishing from a party to grab a cab back home.

The next day, Sunday, 2pm Hawks game, so Kuph and I headed to Duffy's for brunch and to watch the game. Really good buffet and bottomless mimosas. Pretty solid. (This blog is not sponsored by Duffy's.) I'm pretty sure we all know where this is headed, Kuph got rolling on mimosas. Hawks win, Kuph and I take our traditional shot of jager to celebrate the win, and we head over to his former teammate Andrew's place for a little Sunday BBQ on the roof of his building. Now at this point I would say that I had a nice summer Sunday buzz going, and Kuph was a drunk asshole. We get to his buddy's place and soon head up to his roof to use the communal decks and wait for some of their other friends to arrive. During this time Andrew is constantly telling Kuph to quit acting like an asshole because there are other people from the building using the grills, reading, sun bathing, etc. Kuph's not really paying attention to these requests at all as he quickly becomes the paranoid drunk when the rest of their friends arrive because he assumes everyone is talking about him which just led to people starting to talk about him.

At one point Kuph said to his other buddy Cliff and I, "Guys, check this out." Kuph then proceeded to walk over to the fence on the roof and just stand there. Andrew went to go check on him a couple minutes later bc we all thought Kuph was going to pee off the roof. Fortunately he did not, but when we asked why he wanted us to watch he said, "Ah crap, I was going to go flirt with that girl." Quite frankly, I'd say that he had a better chance with her based on the move he chose of standing by himself in the corner than if he talked to her.

Later Kuph asked the group if anyone wanted to shotgun a beer with him. As I've said it's a nice sunny Sunday and the rest of us aren't degenerates so we all decline, and Andrew tells him not to do it. Obviously if Kuph had not done it, I wouldn't have started talking about this. So he shotguns a beer and gets a good 60% of it on his shirt and shorts. Upon people telling him this, Kuph shotguns another and does a far better job. Everyone thought he was pathetic.

It's not even surprising anymore

gchat convo:


Ryan: dude
I just made the best dance in the shower to Tik Tok by ke$ha
Sent at 1:48 PM on Friday
Ryan: i am going to bust that shit out at a bar soon
all the women be flockin'



No Ryan, they won't. That's just my opinion, but it's right.

Graduation

This may be one of the stupidest things I've seen Kuph do. He ended his time in college and graduates on Saturday. I don't think the kid has a single marketable skill as he's unwilling to mention his hot sisters and mom on his resume. He's been bragging to me on gchat today about how he aced his final in order to pass a class.

He has also been endlessly going on about:

Ryan: one of the better haircuts i've gotten recently

The kid's hair always looks the same....

wtfuck?